In the land of the superhero, X-mensch marks the spotter
The Age
Thursday June 11, 2009
SEMITE-spotting is a very popular pastime practised by Jewish people around the world: it involves the collecting and collating of Jewish celebrity names, then spouting off those names at any Semite-spotting-spouting opportunity. If you're at a party and someone puts on a Beck CD, there's sure to be a Semite-spotter somewhere who blurts out, "Hey, that's Beck, the alternative indie-rocker with a folk-funk sensibility; he's Jewish, you know." If you're at the cinema watching a Rob Schneider movie, there's likely to be a Semite-spotter sitting nearby ready to lean over and whisper, "Look, it's Rob Schneider on the screen; he's Jewish, you know." Then, after most of the audience has walked out, they'll lean over again and whisper, "Actually, he's not; we don't want him."Semite-spotters come at all different skill levels. A novice may only be able to list names in an easy category such as showbiz. They'll tell you that Lenny Kravitz is Jewish, and Sacha Baron Cohen and Bob Dylan and Winona Ryder the shoplifter (her real name is Winona HOROWITZ the shoplifter). A more seasoned Semite-spotter will be able to reel off a few political names: they'll tell you that Golda Meirwas Jewish, and Benjamin Disraeli, and just about every commie revolutionary throughout history, including Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky and Jesus. And the most gifted of Semite-spotters will dabble in the most difficult category of all: famous Jewish sportspeople. They'll tell you that Mark Spitz is Jewish, and Sandy Koufax the baseball player, then they'll pause, scratch their head, think hard for a very long time, and finally list all 164 world chess grandmasters since 1907.The greatest Semite-spotter of all is my friend Sam: he called me up the other day and said: "Shalom, mofo. You're not going to believe what I just found out. Superman is Jewish!"I laughed down the telephone line and said, "Yeah, sure he is, and I suppose Batman is too!" and he said, "Yeah, Batman IS as well, and so is Wolverine, and ALL four of the Fantastic Four, even the hot invisible chick that Jessica Alba played in the movie. Don't believe me? I'll prove it," and he arranged to meet me at the Jewish Museum of Australia to see an exhibition called Superheroes & Schlemiels: Jews & Comic Art.The Jewish Museum of Australia is a small building tucked away on Alma Road in East St Kilda, stylish, modern, funky, which doesn't really scream "Jewish" to me. It should be more homely and kitschy and covered in huge fitted PVC couch covers to catch ice-cream drips in summer.But when you step into the place, the Jewishness becomes more apparent: it's filled with religious artefacts and beautiful memorabilia and even the museum attendant is a sweet Jewish grandma, following people around, saying, "Excuse me, don't lean on the glass display, the glass could break and you could cut yourself, but, if you don't want to listen, then fine, lean on the glass display, break it, get cut, see if I care."Sam the Superman-spouting Semite-spotter showed up all excited and keen-eyed, wearing an "I HEART NATALIE PORTMAN" T-shirt and carrying a copy of Schmelvis: In Search of Elvis Presley's Jewish Roots. He whisked me around the Jews & Comic Art exhibition, showing me walls and walls of original comic-book art and telling me that Jewish artists practically invented the form, from Al Capp's L'il Abner comic strip to Harvey Kurtzman's MAD magazine to Art Spiegelman's graphic masterpiece Maus. "Most of all, Jewish artists loved creating superheroes," he said. "Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created Superman, Bob Kane gave us Batman, and the great Stan Lee came up with Spider-Man, Iron Man, the X-Men and the Hulk!"He explained that many of these superheroes were invented in the 1930s and '40s by Jewish artists dreaming of a fictional hero who could stop the Holocaust. In one early Superman comic, the Man of Steel actually captures Adolf Hitler and presents him to a United Nations court for a dose of truth, justice and the American way, though we both agreed we would have rather seen Adolf brutally carved up by the retractable metal claws on Len Wein's Wolverine.It was a super biff-wham-KAPOWWWING exhibition, and as we walked out together, I turned to Sam and said, "Thanks for showing me around, it was a total Semite-spotting surprise; next thing you'll probably tell me Donald Duck is Jewish." He scoffed, winced, said, "Pffff, now you're just being stupid . . . but Daffy Duck, yes. Great grandmother on his paternal side."
© 2009 The Age
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